True to self, present to soul; possibly validating the ardent sensory of the empath along the way.
Warning: this could very well be a dissenting contemplation of mind, body, and soul.
Today was a day my mind refused to be disciplined. My soul has suffered a blow. It is not a day that I can withstand the walking in and out of deep connection, and so I retreat. It has become a day set aside to break, pray, and seek. I can do nothing beyond scripture, contemplation, and worship. I fight for my atonement to be not just a concept but a state of mind…
I walked into the office with the palpable feeling of shame within. In experiencing soul deeply, I had wondered if I had become blinded to truth. I had to be reminded again: shame does not come from the God you serve. It comes as a thief to kill and destroy, to confuse and deny, to create chaos and fear. Disconnect. I also had to be shored up, accepted, and encouraged in my experience of soul.
Yesterday you said you knew of soul, friend. Today you have built up walls around your heart and mind. Your walls are not keeping them out. They are keeping you in. You are not weak, you are not flawed in relationship. You simply desire deep and meaningful connection; this is why you keep coming back. Your glory is that you are beautiful, soul. Don’t let the people take that away from you.
Your triune God is Spirit; for this reason alone, do not let them tell you to deny the perceptible existence within you. Isn’t it true that our entire existence requires an inexplicable intuition and experience of God?
Lectio Divina. Contemplation. Stillness.
Do not dismay then, when you experience its presence.
Some will call heresy; but know that orthodoxy is just theory widely accepted. Often we give credence merely based on the fact that it is the only exposure we have had. Has the realization come that you have been molded because of where you were born, how you were raised, who you knew? With one degree of deviation your experience could have altered your entire perception.
Christianity, in very nature, is an Eastern faith; it is holistic. It is not purely practical, or legalistic. It is intuitive, felt. 1 Corinthians talks extensively about the presence of Spirit within. A gift given to each who believe in Christ the Messiah. Some have the gift of sensory more fully than others. How have we come to then allow church to talk about soul experience with God in positivity, and yet soul connection as sin?
It is likely that I am faulty, incomplete in thought. It’s okay, I am forever in the process of seeking truth. Forever asking questions. Consistently being loved deeply by my Creator.